Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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