I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
