Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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