i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
