A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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