im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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