I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
