I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
