You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
