Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
