i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We need to get me chipped asap
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
