Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
