if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
