Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
