a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
babies were throwing up all over the place
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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