My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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