I think scott just propositioned me for sex
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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