I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
