garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
