Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
