With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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