I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
