I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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