i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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