Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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