I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
