You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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