I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
