Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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