This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
