guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
