I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
