nut hugger
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
