Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
