Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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