You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
