so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
