"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
