sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
