He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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