btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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