If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
