my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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