What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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