i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
