Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have demons in me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
