I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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