I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
