So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
