I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize