We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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