they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
