I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Let's paint friendship bongs
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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