420 ftw
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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