So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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