Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
