Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize