I think my fart just growled at me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
