How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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