did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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